Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
