He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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