Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
