I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize