Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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