This is not my ceiling
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
