I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
