so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
