i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
