What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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