How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
