Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
