My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
