Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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