i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I look better un-naked...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
