? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
time to smoke my breakfast
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
PANTIES FOUND
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