i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
