He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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