and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
