i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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