my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Drunk is not a location!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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