3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
