new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you win again, gameday.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My vagina is very pro this idea
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
