jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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