I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
