i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
