we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
