Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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