He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
