call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
