Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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