Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
