Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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