what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
