Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
