i can't believe i had my finger in that
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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