Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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