I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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