I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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