i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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