Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
