I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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