You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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