God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I stole a fireplace last night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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