when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He better not be in your backpack
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
