My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
