As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
they need to just BURY HIM!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
