I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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