omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
