once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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