oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
