My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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