My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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