Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
