as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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