You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
