So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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