My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
